Hope's Cafe

Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Cafe

September 9, 2020, in an early post on this blog, I wrote about journaling, noting the many journals I have kept over the years.  Occasionally I review some of the older ones, reminding myself where my journey has taken me during the course of my life.  In them I often recorded quotes I had found helpful as encouragement or comfort or guidance.  Sometimes I am startled by how powerful those quotes can still feel.

This past week I reread some of the entries from 2005-2006.  America had gone to war in 2003 in Iraq and Afghanistan .  It  dragged on. (Peter, Paul and Mary had it right years before as they sung “When will they ever learn?” but I digress). In 2005, there was a push to elect veterans, folks who had been through war and knew the risk and the cost, also the aftermath.  My husband ran for congress in what we knew would almost certainly be an unsuccessful effort but still seemed worth putting forth the message.  I found my journal full of quotes about that time, as I searched for writings that might somehow help me keep my bearings. 

I share a few:

“I shall take my voice wherever there are those who want to hear the melody of freedom or the the words that might inspire hope and courage in the face of despair and fear.  My weapons are peaceful, for it is only by peace that peace can be attained.  The song of freedom must prevail.”—Paul Robison

“My heart is moved by all I cannot save.  So much has been destroyed.  I have to cast my lot with those whom, age, after age, perversely, with no extraordinary power, reconstitute the world.”—Adrienne Rich

This one broke my heart:  “I didn’t want a monument, not even one as sober as that vast black wall of broken lives.* I didn’t want a postage stamp.  I didn’t want a road beside the Delaware River with a sign proclaiming: Vietnam Veterans Memorial Highway. 

“What I wanted was a simple recognition of the limits of our power as a nation to inflict our will on others.  What I wanted was an understanding that the world is neither black and white nor ours.”—anonynous

I wrote my own angst as well, earlier though, at the beginning of the war.

Just a Question

              (A Just Question)

When the coffers are empty

And the coffins are full;

When the world is littered

With war’s putrid aftermath;

When the pale, ghostly hush falls;

Will we hear the echoes

Of those voices who decried

This insanity?

                             —-composed  March 18,2003 by Kathleen Emerson Stulce

   I often return to the words of Clarissa Pinkola Estes: “Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach… One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire.”

And: “”In any dark time, there is a tendency to veer toward fainting over how much is wrong or unmended in the world. Do not focus on that. Do not make yourself ill with overwhelm. There is a tendency to fall into being weakened by perseverating on what is outside your reach, by what cannot yet be. Do not focus there. That is spending the wind without raising the sails.” ~ Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Or:  As Dalton Roberts, a local politician, author, singer, once offered a more succinct quote in his weekly column:  “I do that which is before me to do.  I embrace the present moment.  I embrace God.  And I embrace peace.”

Let us do that which is before us to do, my friends….let us seek to be present to one another…and to seek Goodness by whatever name…and peace.

The invitation is open to share two cups of tea anytime at Hope’s Café or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” at Hope’s Café, for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

*The Vietnam Veterans’ Wall located in Washington, D.C.

Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Café

In the early weeks after my daughter was born, I was lying in bed with her in the crook of my arm just gazing into her eyes.  Her father said “What are you doing?” and I said “Bonding with my baby.”  “Well, it looks like you are going to be fused!” he replied, with some consternation. 

Once in a church service the pastor had us partner up and spend two minutes making eye contact but not speaking.   While initially that was a bit uncomfortable, I realized that over that time I began to see the person I was paired with not as a needy n’er do well who tended to press for attention, but as a human being, another companion on the journey we all share.

Some years ago I sought out a local recording studio and made a CD I titled “Eyes to See,” composed of songs that had the word “eyes” in it, emphasizing both the effect that eye contact has in bonding as in the first example and as a means of comprehension, as in the second one.

As  a child, I went through a period when I considered what it might be like to be blind.  Sometimes I would close my eyes and make my way around the room seeking to experience what that might feel like. Who knows what inspired that.  But clearly I was aware that our eyesight is important in multiple ways.

Eyesight and vision are often used interchangeably but are distinct which a site called “This vs. That” describes:

 “Eyesight refers to the physical ability of the eyes to see and perceive objects, colors, and shapes. It is a measure of the clarity and sharpness of one’s vision. On the other hand, vision encompasses a broader concept that includes not only the physical ability to see but also the interpretation and understanding of what is seen. Vision involves the brain’s processing of visual information, allowing us to make sense of our surroundings, recognize faces, read, and navigate our environment. While eyesight is a measurable aspect of vision, vision itself is a more complex and multifaceted concept that involves cognitive and perceptual processes.”

Some quotes reflect this, both unattributed:

“The eyes are useless when the mind is blind.” And its corollary:

“Eyes that are open see lessons everywhere.”

May we seek to keep our eyes open and our vision clear.

The invitation is open to share two cups of tea anytime at Hope’s Café or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” at Hope’s Café, for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Café

This week I encountered the Japanese word “komorebi,” translated “sunlight leaking through trees.  Trees and sunlight are essential to wellbeing in my estimation.  This “komorebi” encounter prompted further exploration. The Japanese have no corner on descriptive words for this phenomenon.  The Germans have several related words :waldicht, referring to light found inside a forest;  “lichtspiel,” the shifting, dancing patterns of light and shadow;” maeinschein,” a rare, poetic term describing the specific green-gold light falling through fresh spring trees. In English we are more likely to hear the term “dappled,” the spotty light on the ground.  “Shivelight,” a less frequently used description, penned by Gerard Manley Hopkins in 1888 means “lances of light that pierce a tree’s canopy or foliage.”

No descriptors adequately convey the experience of witnessing the light filtering down through the leaves, the interplay of sunlight and shadow on the carpet of forest or lawn.  That experience is matched by the amazing way trees “cooperate.”  The leaves act as “solar panels” filled with chlorophyll to catch sunlight; the roots pull water up from the ground; the stomata (tiny pores) let the tree breathe in carbon dioxide from the air.  The sun’s energy fuses water and carbon dioxide into glucose, giving the tree fuel to grow tall, to make new leaves and build wood.  The trees release extra oxygen back into the air for humans and animals to breathe. 

Trees store winter energy as starch in their roots and trunks before the cold weather sets in.  And what I find so extraordinary is their capacity to communicate with other trees through a fungal network in the soil, often called the “world wide web,” by which they can send nutrients and chemical signals to help each other survive.  They even warn each other about pests! 

The importance of trees is reflected in the 3-30-300 rule in urban forestry. This serves as a guideline to ensure that every resident can see at least 3 mature trees, live in a neighborhood with 30 percent tree canopy cover, and be within 300 meters of a high quality green space.

Trees remind us again of some of the very fundamentals of life: they communicate and cooperate for the good of all.  What a powerful comfort it is to know that even when their leaves drop as winter descends, to all appearances hopeless for life to return, much life-sustaining activity upholds them, carries them through the colder, darker times.  For this reason, in this gloomy, somber, shadowy time in our world,  again and again I return to the lessons from  these stalwart servants of our wellbeing.

The invitation is open to share two cups of tea anytime at Hope’s Café or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” at Hope’s Café, for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Café

The concluding phrase on last week’s blog “sway with the wind” stayed with me all week.  The gentle swaying of trees is akin for me to watching water lap the shore, a peaceful rhythm, spirit-calming. Intrigued by what I might discover, I explored this.

Swaying is a healthy biological and mechanical response, indicating a tree is actively dissipating wind energy to prevent structural failure.  Furthermore, I learned: “Leaves flutter and the canopy reconfigures to reduce wind resistance, allowing the wind to pass through more efficiently….Smaller branches…sway independently of the main trunk to absorb up to 50% of the kinetic energy before it reaches the base….The remaining energy is neutralized within the wood tissue as cells rub together, converting mechanical force into harmless thermal energy.” * Fascinating!

So much information is available that expands beyond this.  The Planet Pulse site discusses the benefits of satellite technology to monitor tree health, touting an important aspect in this age of so many wildfires.  Given the immense task of overseeing millions of acres of forest land—321 million in the United States, 815 million in Canada, 160 million in the E.U., 808 million in Brazil—satellites provide a valuable resource to anticipate and address problems beforehand.

The parallel of this to human beings is noteworthy.  When we “sway with the wind,” we function more efficiently.  When we pay attention to our health, we can often avoid medical problems.  This applies to families and other societal systems as well.  The more rigid, the less resilient; the less rigid, the more resilient.  Structure and boundaries are important. But the inability or unwillingness to adapt to change, to cope with difficulties when they are encountered, to thoughtfully problem-solve, results in obstacles of monumental proportions. 

Tasneern Harneed, a writer and consultant on topics like innovation, AI and human adaptability, suggests that we: “Learn character from trees, values from roots and change from leaves.”

Sway with the wind, my friends. Sway with the wind.

The invitation is open to share two cups of tea anytime at Hope’s Café or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” at Hope’s Café, for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

*Multiple sites revealed information related to this including https://stormwise.uconn.edu; https://auf.isa-arbor.com;https://www.reddit.com;https://phys.org  (and many others!)

Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Café

Paul McCartney wrote “A World Without Love” at age 16, when he had already been writing songs from the age of 14.  It is a mournful song, reflecting the experience of many teens (as well as adults) of unfulfilled longing for love.  In the dramatic style often employed by teens, he declares “Please lock me away…and don’t allow the day….here inside where I hide with my loneliness. I don’t care what they say, I won’t stay in a world without love.”  The Beatles never recorded it.  But Paul passed it on to the duo Peter and Gordon who made it a number one song on charts in both the US and the UK in 1964.

 As a teenager, I keenly felt that sentiment. Admittedly, some days now I can identify with those lyrics. Despite record high temperatures everywhere, the emotional temp of the world presently feels icily cold.  In contrast, in 1971 Rare Earth recorded the upbeat song “I Just Want to Celebrate” which focuses on getting through difficult times and maintaining a positive attitude.  I can identify with that as well.  In fact, it is the antidote to those times when I despair of the world.

Val T. Boyko is another blogger, an apparent kindred spirit, whose theme is “Find Your Middle Ground: Living From the Center of Your Being,” a focus not unlike my own “Hope’s Café: Practicing Hope, Balancing Life.” Finding the space where we can recognize “a world without love” and still “just want to celebrate” our encounter with life is a challenge, a balancing act, but yields a middle ground that is sustainable.

Afterall:   “The art of living is knowing when to hold on, when to let go, and when to simply sway with the wind.”—Alexander Schlinder

The invitation is open to share two cups of tea anytime at Hope’s Café or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” at Hope’s Café, for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Cafe

“Life is too short not to sparkle.”  I came across that sentiment this week but wondered “What if one isn’t feeling particularly sparkly just at the moment?” I considered that the expression wasn’t “Life is too short not to sparkle constantly.”  It was simply a reminder that we have that capacity and we can develop and utilize it to enhance our lives as well as those of others.

But there are plenty of other suggestions about which life is too short.

“Life is too short to just go through the motions,” said Phillip Rivers.

“Be patient and understanding.  Life is too short to be vengeful or malicious,” in the words of Phillips Brooks. Along similar lines, Charlotte Bronte wrote: “Life appears to me too short to be spent  in nursing animosity or registering wrongs.”

Bhakti Singh expanded on Brooks’ and Bronte’s  thoughts: “Life is too short to give pain to others.  I eat to the fullest, sleep well and make people laugh wholeheartedly.”

“Life is too short and too sweet to complain about the silly things,” adds Michael Chandler.

On a more reflective note, Mark Manson wrote “At some point we all must admit the inevitable: life is short, not all of our dreams can come true, so we should carefully pick and choose what we have the best shot at and then commit to it.”  As Joshua Fields Milburn points out: “There’s no refund on time poorly spent.”

On a somber note, Ryan Holliday reminds us that “Eventually, all of us will pass away and slowly be forgotten.  We should enjoy this brief time we have on earth—not be enslaved to emotions that make us miserable and dissatisfied.”  We are admonished by Marcus Aurelius: “Life is short.  Do not forget about the most important things in our life, living for other people and doing good for them.”

But this one particular quote I first skipped over thinking it was a bit frivolous.  On further reflection, I considered there is wisdom encased in it:  “Life is too short to miss out on the beautiful things like a double cheeseburger,” spoken by the actor Channing Tatum.  Even the ordinary things, the simple pleasures in life, are beautiful, to be noticed, appreciated.  As the singer Glen Campbell said: “Life is too short not to enjoy it.”

So, my friends, what about you?  How would you complete the sentence “Life is too short……”?

The invitation is open to share two cups of tea anytime at Hope’s Café or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” at Hope’s Café, for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Cafe

I read a poignant story this week about Maurice Sendak, author of the classic children’s book Where the Wild Things Are.  Sendak grew up the son of Polish Jews, who had lost essentially all their relatives during  the holocaust .  He was a very sickly child who spent a lot of time in bed, his sole entertainment being reading.  His childhood was marked by loss and pain, and thus he learned early that childhood could be marked by darkness.

As an adult he wrote the story of Max, a little boy sent to bed without supper because of angry behavior.  There he sailed away to a place where wild things roared and gnashed their teeth and rolled their terrible eyes. He became king of his feelings in this wild place.  And when the “wildness” was finished he came home. 

This was published at a time in the early 1960s when children’s books were typically sweet stories with brightly colored pictures and happy endings.  There were those who did not welcome it, despite its earning the 1964 Caldecott medal. Some librarians pulled it from the shelves.  Bruno Bettelheim, Austrian psychologist and educator, publicly criticized him in the “Ladies Home Journal” saying a child sent to bed without supper would be traumatizing to a child reader.  Ironically, Bettelheim went on to publish his book Uses of Enchantment, which promoted the use of fairy tales, once considered too dark, such as those by the Brothers Grimm, with their themes of abandonment, witches and death, to help children cope with fears in remote, symbolic terms. 

Towards the end of his life, in what would be his final interview with Terri Gross of National Public Radio, he said he had “fallen deeply in love with the world” in his last years, that he had “nothing but praise for his life.”

Is that not striking, a stunning admission?  Falling in love with a world that to all appearances is falling apart?  More wars and conflicts than we can keep track of?  Cruelty and racism and incivility?  That world? And yet I identify.  I ache for the world because I love this world with which we are entrusted.  And I, too, along with Sendak ,recognize that life can be dark, happy endings are not guaranteed, that suffering is abundant.  Yet I also  realize the blessing of the life I have and the goodness and love in close proximity as well as existing in the larger world.

As Mohammed Ali said:  “Our only hope lies in the power of our love, generosity, tolerance and understanding and our commitment to making the world a better place for all.”

Or, as the poet Mary Oliver wrote: “Love yourself….then love the world.”

The invitation is open to share two cups of tea anytime at Hope’s Café or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” at Hope’s Café, for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Cafe

“Too often, we judge other groups by their worst examples—while judging ourselves by our best intentions.”  So said George W. Bush, former United States President, better known for some of his less eloquent phrasing.  This quote, however, is quite pointed and worth our consideration.

Sometimes we do not even judge a group by their worst examples.  We simply slap a disparaging label on them with no knowledge of them at all.  It is adaptive for a soldier, for example, to think of the enemy as a “gook”rather than a human being with needs and desires no different from his or her own. 

I will never forget visiting my daughter when she was an exchange student in Germany, living in what had been a border town in the days before the Berlin wall fell. A guard tower that remained there had been made into a museum.  Framed on the wall was a poem by one of the guards, reflecting on a family he watched on the other side of the border cooking their supper, not unlike what his own family would be doing about then.  It was a poignant reminder that folks we label enemies are mothers, fathers, siblings, children, relatives and friends; people with hopes and dreams, people with struggles and suffering, with joys and disappointments. As Sly and the Family Stone sang: “I am no better and neither are you.  We are the same whatever we do.”

The invitation is open to share two cups of tea anytime at Hope’s Café or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” at Hope’s Café, for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

“All ‘isms’ run out in the end, and good riddance to most of them, patriotism for example,” wrote Frederick Buechner, an American writer, novelist, poet, autobiographer, essayist, preacher, and theologian, “The only patriots worth their salt,” he continued, “are the ones who love their country enough to see that in a nuclear age it is not going to survive unless the world survives. True patriots are no longer champions of Democracy, Communism, or anything like that but champions of the Human Race.” Frederick Buechner, may he rest in peace, penned these words long ago, but how true they ring today.

The statistics are staggering:

There are currently 56 armed conflicts with at least 10 major wars causing significant casualties and displacement. The Ukraine-Russia war has caused a minimum of 500,000 casualties. The Sudan civil war tallies more than 150,000 killed and more than 10 million displaced. More than 40,000 have been killed in the Gaza conflict.

Civilians account for 50% of casualties, with a disproportionate number of children affected. Around 200 million children live in high density conflict zones.

Global military spending is $2 trillion annually.

Last week, Deborah Levine, author, Holocaust educator, opinion columnist, posed a question on Facebook: What does July 4th mean to you? I responded:

This year I’m thinking for me it means celebrating the pockets of good that still exist in this country and all the folks who are seeking to move past the chaos and hatred to reestablish governance that is based on integrity, compassion, reason.

Perhaps I could add to that list: and seeking to root out the weeds of war and plant the seeds of peace. Albert Einstein so aptly said:”We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if mankind is to survive.”

To my American readers, prayers for a safe holiday weekend. To my readers around the world, many of us recognize that all that is going on here has impact on you and your wellbeing. Blessings on all those who affirm good and resist what undermines the human race.

The invitation is open to share two cups of tea anytime at Hope’s Café or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” at Hope’s Café, for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate

Two Cups of Tea at Hope’s Cafe

Last week I heard the phrase “practicing the miracle of life.”  My response has been to more often start my day sitting outside.  Nature offers us so many reminders of miracles.  I listen to the birds, their calls so distinctive as they communicate with one another.  They are masters of “call and response.”  I watch the clouds as they shift and form themselves in new configurations.  Yes, this is simply the nature of  birds and clouds.  But Albert Einstein, who knew something of how the world operates (understatement!), is quoted as saying: “There are only two ways to live your life.  One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” 

I tend to subscribe to the latter.  But in the interest of full disclosure, miracles  can involve  a lot of mess.  Much in medical care is a miracle but dealing with the human body and all its intricacies can be quite untidy, in plain English, a bloody mess.  On another plane, think of the miracle of all the coordination and dedication of aid groups who manage all the details of collecting and distributing goods for the survival of people.  Yet they often operate in extreme conditions of war, destruction, deprivation. 

Closer to home, I think of a man I met years ago when we were part of a group advocating for a bill before the legislature that would have extended healthcare to an additional 280,000 in our state.  His wife had severe health problems and he had some himself.  In the years since, he has developed a condition that is taking his life in the most horrendous way.  He never denies the difficulty of it, nor his challenges to cope.  Yet he always manages to convey some sense of gratitude, the miracle of another day.    Miraculous, I say, living in awareness of gratitude  as he deals with the condition he endures.

To all those in the throes of huge difficulties and to those who are simply living with the usual amount of disturbances life tends to throw in our path just in the everyday-ness of living, I offer these gems:

“Miracles happen every day; you just have to look for them, they are there.” – Catherine Pulsifer 

“Each of my days are miracles. I won’t waste my day; I won’t throw away miracle.” – Kelley Vicstrom

“A miracle is often the willingness to see the common in an uncommon way.” Noah Benshea

The invitation is open to share two cups of tea anytime at Hope’s Café or anywhere you share companionship and conversation.

May we be bearers of hope, the “wait staff” at Hope’s Café, for each other and all those we encounter.  Shalom, Kate